Holistic Cats

meditating cat

I grew up in a time when vaccines, bread, and technology were all the rage. See, we didn’t have holistic warriors around to educate us back then.

Thank goodness for the Internet, which is just loaded with blogs written by smug upper-middle-class mommy intellects who are significantly smarter than the rest of us peasants because they either have an autistic son or a gifted daughter whom they homeschool.

It’s a wonder how kids from my generation managed to even make it to adulthood with the multitude of toxins we’ve had to battle, the electromagnetic pollution we’ve been exposed to every hour of every day, and having eaten things disguised as food that our fragile bodies haven’t evolved to digest.

How did people exist without the Internet around to tell them how to live their lives?

holistic mommy blogger

Fortunately, thanks to amateur journalists to do the research for us, we now know of better and safer alternatives to dangerous things like medical science. Alternatives that have never been tested for safety or effectiveness in a lab, so we know they must be superior to the real deal. And with the organic foods movement, we no longer have to eat bananas disguised as apples. We have a choice. We don’t need to let the pharmaceutical industry, technology, or Monsanto control our lives any longer!

apple banana

Hey, I wonder if cats are naturally holistic. It sure would explain a few things…

When trying to medicate a cat:
medicating a cat

When feeding a cat gourmet catfood:

cat refusing food

When feeding a cat a home-cooked meal on a silver platter:

gluten-free cat

When a cat freaks out over sudden sounds like a cell phone going off:

cat sleeping

cat woken by cell phone

cat vs cell phone

When a cat is sleeping in an awkward, contorted position:

yoga catWhen a cat is running away from nothing:

chemtrail cat

When giving a cat a vaccine:

anti-vaxxer cat

When giving a cat new things you spent way too much money on:

cat rejecting nice things

cat preferring box over nice things

cat preferring dirty sock over toys

In short, holistic warriors are secretly cats. Which must be why they are so much wiser than the rest of us, and superior to the human race.

Now shut up and bow down to them.


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