Life in a “Desert State”

san francisco victorian in a desert

I live in California; The San Francisco Bay Area to be more precise, which is located in the northern triad of the state. I’ve been living as an exile of the old country – storm-torn New England – for over 6 years now. I’ve been harassed about my great escape by the jealous east coasters I left behind ever since. For while, they’d remind me I’m going to die in the “big one”. But lately, that’s become tiresome even for them, so they’ve moved onto other things.

Apparently now, with news of the drought going around, I live in a desert! Well, this is news to me. A desert? I certainly don’t feel like I live in a desert…but the media has convinced folks in other lands that I do. Hmm…I must be a fool! How silly of me to think moving to a desert state was a good idea! How stupid Californians are to build cities where there is NO water! I’m so grateful to have people on the other side of the country to look after me and inform me of this ignorant mistake I’ve made.

new englanders buried in snow

I have to say, despite California’s issues with natural disasters like drought (and New England is totally free from natural disasters – sure)…desert life really isn’t too shabby.

My desert is full of giant redwood trees.


And Tim Burton trees caked in moss.

live oak

My desert maintains a consistent temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit year-round and necessitates having a light jacket with you at all times.

california beach

My desert’s fog is so popular, it has its own Twitter account. And it has way more followers than yours does.

karl the fog

My desert makes everyone miserable in the spring and summer from all of the pollen. Because of all the plants and how there’s A LOT of them.


Wait a sec…how is this even possible in such a hot, barren, unlivable desert state like California? What kind of freaky desert have these Hollywood clowns concocted?

Ohhhhhh, riiiiight! The media is full of sensationalist bullshit! Most of the state isn’t even a desert, and the vast majority of its population does not live in anything that scientifically qualifies as a desert. Feel free to pick on California for its poor water management strategies and infrastructure (the greater issue here), but quit bugging me about living in a desert when I don’t.

California is a huge state, and it has an incredible number of different habitats and microclimates. That’s what makes this state so unique and special!

california is not a desert

I live so far from an actual desert, I don’t even know where the nearest desert is! I think it might be some place called…”Nevada”?


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